


I'm surrounded by children (Idiots)

by TheKeeper_of_TheSmut



Series: Momma Penguin's Family of Freaks [3]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Crack-sih, Freak Family - Freeform, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 02:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11522409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKeeper_of_TheSmut/pseuds/TheKeeper_of_TheSmut
Summary: Oswald tries to get some actual work done, but that's hard to do when you're the only mature adult in the room.





	I'm surrounded by children (Idiots)

Oswald had called a meeting at the Iceberg Lounge in order to discuss who might have tipped the GCPD off to the location of his newest shipment of guns. The main purpose of the Lounge was to cultivate wealthy clientele that would later owe him favors or possibly invest in his schemes.

It was also to attract the top players in the underworld so Oswald could keep track of the power play easier. Even the average day to day customers who didn't have ties to the criminal world were a good source of information. And that is really what kept Oswald on top, if he knew what his would-be usurpers of the throne knew then he could stay one step ahead.

That and his short temper meant going toe to toe with the kingpin often resulted in violent deaths that would be quickly and quietly covered up. With his merry band of freaks backing him Oswald commanded respect and fear from those he worked with, which is why the leaked information and subsequent raid of one of his warehouses vexed him so much.

Freeze was off doing his own thing, and he was a grown man so Oswald wasn't too interested in trying to order him around. He was still perfectly willing to lend his services if need be, but had made it clear that he was nobody's lacky. Bridget too came and went as she pleased but was around far more often than not because of her friendship with Ivy.

Ivy was a near constant at the manor now, having moved all her stuff out of her old greenhouse on Oswald insistence that it wasn't safe enough if Fish, Babs, Tabs, and Butch had been able to find it so easily. However, the girl was prone to wandering off into the city to do god knows what with a certain alley cat that Oswald had a liking for. Sometimes, others Cat could be a thorn (or claw) in his side.

Victor and Os had struck up the oddest of friendships while Ed was....indisposed. He had already known he could trust Zsasz and that he wouldn't be deserting him any time soon despite Gabe's betrayal, which still stung because he had felt that Gabe was like an Uncle. An Italian Uncle in the mob constantly looming, but still. Victor had once offhandedly mentioned that Oswald paid even better than Carmine Falcone, and Falcone had been stricter on his hit policies. Oswald didn't mess around and didn't give a damn how he got the job done. The less descript the more Zsasz got to play.

And oddly he was quite playful. Honestly sometimes Oswald couldn't tell who was the child trapped in an adults body, Ivy or Victor. Once you've caught the city's top assassin in a rainbow unicorn footie pajamas eating cupcakes and playing twister with his Zsaszettes, well the illusion of stone cold killer is ruined. Not that he wasn't, but he also was a genuinely good person and Oswald found he had quite liked him. However, he did get jobs from others so it was not uncommon for him to disappear for several days and have him reappear in his kitchen sweet talking Olga out of a few muffins or fresh baked cookies.

Then there was Ed, the only constant in his life. Even when he had first unfrozen Ed and the green clad man had vanished after Fries had assured he was perfectly healthy if not slightly wet and cold. Os had thought that was the end of it only to have the man reappear on his doorstep a week later claiming he was ready to talk. The details of this conversation are too complex to summarize at the moment, but the bottom line was they both had made mistakes and they both had crossed a line. Both had made decisions in the heat of the moment that they regretted and Ed admitted that if he had found out on his own or Oswald had admitted to his crime than his reaction would have been different from shooting Oswald with Barbara's gleeful voice egging him on.

While that had been cleared up and Ed spent most nights at the manor he did have his own space to go to should he need it, and with both men's tempers being what they were it was probably for the best. It was a work in progress, trying to remember to talk about their problems rather than immediately get frustrated and start yelling. However, Ed was about as socially adept as a clam when it came to his own emotions and reading others, and Oswald's emotional outbursts, of any kind not just anger, tended to make thinking clearly and conveying his point properly without misspeaking difficult.

Regardless, Ed was one he could count on most times to remain level headed and actually approach the issue like an adult. But at the moment Oswald was ready to put them all in time out like the children they were.

"This is important, if I don't figure out who tipped the GCPD off about the warehouse then we might as well close the Lounge!" Oswald grumbled annoyed.

"Pengy's right. Since this is so important I think we should use code names."

"No, Ivy. We don't need code names."

"I call Riddler."

"But that's already your criminal name. And it's stupid."

"No it's not!"

Oswald watched not sure if he was amused or annoyed.

"It is kinda lame beanpole. Hey that's your code name. Beanpole!" Victor supplies.

"Victor, you're fired," Ed huffs.

"You can't fire me! Right boss?"

"I'm surrounded by children," Oswald sighs agitatedly.

 


End file.
